Dating a woman taller than you
The root cause of all that self-consciousness is that toxic masculinity garbage that makes us believe the taller you are, the "manlier" you are, and the better you are.
Chaya: I remember being teased for being short in middle school, as my girl friends had their puberty growth spurts and I stayed the same from sixth grade until forever.
So, contrary to popular belief, my dating life on the whole has actually been more successful after transition than it was before, as a cis gay man.
Back when I identified as a gay man, my short stature was a liability, since the mainstream gay world is into tall, muscular guys.
Meredith: I'm a trans woman who's 5'5", so average height for women in the States and shorter than most trans women I know.
As someone who mostly — though not exclusively — dates men, I feel like my height has helped me a lot with dating, because men unconsciously perceive me as "normal," and I don't activate their unconscious transphobia as badly.
And as I got older, more and more men I dated would comment on it: "I love how I can pick you up," "You're so cute and little," and even, "I'm only dating Chaya-sized girls from now on." I got rid of him shortly after.
Brett: I'm 5'8", so I've always felt I'm in this weird middle ground of not really knowing if I'm "short" or not.
As far as dating a woman taller than me, I'm definitely fine with it, but I'm also probably guilty of preemptively thinking I'm "too short" for a woman taller than me and not giving it a proper chance.
When it comes down to it, it's not really even about the height.
Or guys can also be completely dismissive once they see me in person and say, "You seem much taller in your photos" or "I didn't realize how short you were until you got off that stool." I recently had one guy actually look over my head to see if the person he was meeting was someone else besides me. But of course in a completely contradictory way, I'm usually attracted to men who are much, much taller than I am.
So I guess opposites attract, or I just enjoy the awkward interactions/comical antics of doing activities with someone much taller than I? Standing out (physically) my whole life has led me to be much more confident and fearless of being different. There are definitely a lot of great guys who only see six feet as one small part of who I am.