Lasting friendships dating
They tend to involve a deep knowledge of the other person's hopes, desires and personality.They tend to involve the sharing of many aspects of each other's daily lives and routines.They will change if they want to, but you can't make them change. Many of my very kind clients, in trying to help their partner, have been used and burned by loaning money, or by allowing their partner, who is not earning money, to live with them. If you have a trust issue in general, then you might want to deal with your issue. The person has no close friends and is not close to family.
People get together at their common level of woundedness -- i.e., their common level of self-abandonment. If this person cannot feel pain for your pain and joy for your joy, you will end up feeling very lonely in the relationship. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that prevent a parent from seeing their children, or a parent might come to the painful realization that it is not in the child's best interest to be involved with them.
To the extent that one person's romantic feelings have been clearly articulated to the other (and were met with an unfavorable response) to continue in some no-man's land of "good friends," is arguably to take selfish advantage of the vulnerable party. What if one person develops romantic feelings in a friendship in which no "clear words" have been spoken, such that the desires of the other person are a mystery?
Yes, I know, the other person is an adult who is free and responsible to walk away if he or she is so unsatisfied, but like it or not, it tends not to work that way. Especially if it's the woman in this position (as seems to be the case more often than not) she will likely feel that if she pushes for something more than friendship, she may lose the interaction and companionship she currently has.
How intimate of a friendship with someone of the opposite sex is OK? Won't the friendship be ruined if one of us expresses romantic interest and the other doesn't respond favorably?
Basically, the question seems to be how exactly single Christians should relate to members of the opposite sex in that large and awkward zone between "we've never met" and a deliberate dating or courting relationship. I won't repeat the full history lesson here, as several Boundless authors have already discussed it (Joshua Rogers most recently, in his excellent piece "Your Friendgirl Deserves Better").