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Transphobic people will assert practically anything to get away from the much simpler truth, what trans people have been saying for decades: that trans women are simply women who were mistakenly assigned male at birth.The problem with both of these social stereotypes for the “too good” and “too bad” trans woman is that they both infer that a trans woman is really a man, which creates an impossible balancing act for trans women.Consent is really cool, and believe me, no one wants to date you or fuck you, if you don’t want to date or fuck them.
The transgender community is a massively diverse group with all kinds of body types, genital configurations, personalities, hobbies, and relationship styles.
How do you know the cute girl you were flirting with at the bar last night isn’t a trans woman?
How do you know that cute boy you’ve been flirting with on Grindr isn’t a trans man? I know attraction is complicated, and again, no one is saying you should be forced to date someone you’re not into. You can’t assume someone’s genitals based on their identity, and more so, you might be missing out on sex that’s fun and pleasurable just because you’re unable to see a penis as feminine or a vulva as masculine.
This happens because we, as a culture, seem to want trans people to both be cis-appearing enough to be invisible, but also we expect trans people to out themselves at every possible moment, just to make them even easier to avoid.
When I came out as a trans woman, the first concern I heard from many close friends and family members were two things: “How will you ever get a good job? ” These fears are very real things that many trans people struggle to find in their lives.