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You’re not getting any responses from your online dating profile. Over the years I’ve seen these issues crop up again and again; I’ve seen them in friends, in the letters I’ve gotten as Dr. and until I took the time to recognize this and actually address these issues, I was going to get better.Let me paint a common story for you: It’s been a while since you’ve started trying to get better at dating and it seems like you’re no further along than you have been before. The more posts you read, the more approaches you make… The things that hold us back in dating almost always systematically bleed into the other parts of our lives as well and it’s only when we can be honest with ourselves, confront and address these issues that we can manage to move forward and start making the progress we As I’ve mentioned before: negativity is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nerd Love, even in myself in different aspects of my daily life.There’s nothing less appealing to a potential partner than feeling as though that they’re nothing more than a warm hole or body that’s filling a slot marked “girlfriend”.The more desperate you are to get what you want, whether it be sex or a relationship, the more likely it will slip through your fingers.Not only will others feel the unnaturalness of their pose, but the stress and strain of keeping up the act only serves to wear them down faster, leaving them drained and upset… Not everybody is built to be a club-hopping player – and yet that’s what PUA culture directs men towards.

It’s incongruent with who they are; they’re quite literally pretending to be someone they’re not in hopes of better results.On a practical level, desperation hurts you in a multitude of ways.You’re less likely to meet someone you would consider you will be turned off when they realize that any warm body will do and still more will assume that there must be a reason why you’ve been refused so often.In short: your own desires are sabotaging your efforts to slake them.As paradoxical as it may seem, you will never have better success at getting laid or finding a relationship by had it right: you get laid more by not trying.

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