Validating volatile and avoidant couples scammer dating profiles
There’s the good news: We can still be ourselves and be good marriage partners. Gottman offers specific advice for validating couples: pick your battles carefully; acknowledge your spouse’s viewpoint before expressing your own; moderate your emotions; trust your partner; enhance romance. 204-205) His advice for volatile couples: Don’t tell your partner what you can’t or won’t do; offer sincere and positive appreciation; express interest in your spouse; choose to be polite, regardless of your spouse’s actions; be direct and honest; affection; be careful about teasing. 205-209) And the counsel for conflict-avoiding couples: Get in touch with your feelings; reaffirm your basic beliefs about your relationship; learn to level with your spouse when necessary; create “suggestion boxes”; turn to others for support. We are in a marriage - or have more than one marriage - with a specific individual - for grand spiritual and eternal earthly experiences/ purposes/lessons that are custom designed to occur in a timely manner over our lifetime.We all have - to various degrees - at points of time in our lives when we have "Validating" - Volatile" - "Avoidant" experiences with our spouse - to learn the personal and mutual spiritual lessons that are meant for the relationship - at a point in time.When a couple becomes stuck in the same repetitive arguments, even small conflicts such as arguing over who empties the dishwasher most often can make you feel trapped in a circle of conflict.But the good news is that if just one person within the relationship is motivated to improve things, the relationship can and will change.The key is not what you argue about but how you argue.Couples that have the same relational style are more likely to stay married than couples with mismatched styles.
Life is messy and we must all learn to clean up our corner of it, especially in marriage.
However, his findings are not what you might think.
Money problems, sex, your in-laws, and the host of usual suspects are not at the root of relationship dissatisfaction.
Gottman believes that most people fall into one of three relational styles which influences how a person argues.
Conflict, according to Gottman, is the key predictor of divorce.